Common Questions

Here are some common questions asked by birth mothers. If you don’t find the answer to your question here, please contact us so that we can help you.

Q. I need help! What do I do?

A. If you need help now, begin by picking up the phone and calling 1-877-202-2172 to speak with an experienced Adoption Specialist skilled in the adoption process. We are here for you and will be honest and open with you so that you will be able to make a decision that is best for you and your baby. You can reach us at all times of the day or night. Either call our 1-877-202-2172 number, or e-mail us. We ask that you call in the middle of the night only during emergencies. Otherwise, anytime to call is fine.

Q. I’m struggling to make ends meet. Can I get any financial assistance?

A. Yes! Most states allow for some type of living assistance, which we will be happy to discuss with you. Such assistance usually consists of help with rent, food, utilities, transportation, maternity clothes, and medical bills.

Q. How do I start the adoption process?

A. The best way to start the adoption process is to call and speak privately with us. You may call anytime when it is most convenient for you and we will gladly discuss your situation and answer any questions you may be having. Simply call (877) 202-2172 or contact us online for more information about the process. After we talk, we will have you submit paperwork providing background information on your health, family history, etc. This is an important part of the process.

Q. Do I get to choose the adoptive family for my child?

A. Yes! You may choose your adoptive parents. You tell us what is important to you in a family (i.e., race, religion, age, other children, etc.) and we will present profiles of families that match what you are looking for. Little Flower Adoptions is different from any other adoption agency in that we listen solely to you when determining what type of family you want for your child. We present you with a list of families meeting your criteria or preferences. We do not keep hundreds of adoptive families signed up with our agency, as this creates a “waiting list” for adoptive parents. We believe that this is counterproductive to our simple philosophy: you are the most valuable member of the adoption process.

Q. How do I select a family for my child?

A. Prospective adoptive families design and put together comprehensive family profiles. The family profile generally includes important information such as: photographs of the adoptive family and relatives, information about their educations, occupations, activities they enjoy, religious beliefs, feelings about contact with the birth parents, along with other information that may help you with your decision.

Since we will be working closely with you on what type of family you want for your baby, we will be diligent in respecting your wishes. Selecting a family is sometimes the most exciting part of the adoption plan, but is also sometimes the most overwhelming. Our years of experience have helped us understand that birth parents usually do not want to be overwhelmed by being shown multiple families. Most agencies keep a waiting list of prospective adoptive parents and want you to first consider the parents that have been waiting the longest, whether or not they are appropriate for your situation and wishes. We will never show you a family that is not appropriate for you specific situation.

Q. I’m unemployed, have no medical insurance and can’t afford prenatal care. What do I do?

A. We can assist you with applying for Medicaid in most instances. Medicaid has a special program just for pregnant women so that you may receive good prenatal care for yourself and your baby. If you don’t qualify, don’t worry. Other arrangements can be made.

Q. Does anyone really care about how I feel?

A. We truly believe that the birth mother is the MOST important person in the adoption process. Your loving and difficult decision is to be valued and cherished. There are many choices to be made during the adoption process and many of those are very emotional. We will walk you through the powerful and amazing experience of adoption, if this is your choice, and assist you with developing your adoption plan. We care about our birth parents and take our responsibility to you and to your child personally.

Q. My mother wants me to place my baby with a family from her church? Is this possible?

A. People in your life may try to persuade you into trying to conduct a private placement (picking an unlicensed family). Though this is legally allowable in most states, these types of placements do not have any of the protections or safety that comes from choosing a family through a licensed adoption agency. It is important that the adoption process be handled correctly with individuals that have experience and are authorized to do such work. You need Little Flower Adoptions to protect your interests and make sure that everything is done legally and correctly.

Q. Will I ever “get over” placing my baby for adoption?

A. Placing a baby for adoption will likely be the most emotionally difficult thing you ever do in your entire life. However, it will also be the bravest and most selfless decision you ever make too! With an adoption plan, your number one concern and priority will always be what is best for you, your family and your baby. With that in mind, we can assure you that with proper counseling, support and assistance you will get through this difficult decision as long as you continue to be certain that it is the best decision for you and your baby. We encourage you to stay committed to an open and honest relationship sharing thoughts and feelings and we can best help you through this process! We have assisted many, many birth mothers through the adoption process and are experienced in doing so. We would be proud and honored to help you develop an adoption plan, if you so desire.

Q. Do I get to see my baby after birth?

A. Yes! We feel it is very important that you meet your baby and have special time with your baby in the hospital after birth. Of course, we will respect your wishes if you desire something different. Many times it is helpful to birth parents to spend some time with the baby in order to get the closure necessary to emotionally heal from the grief process of placing your baby for adoption.

Q. Will my child go to foster care?

A. No. It is usually not a requirement for your child to go to foster care. Your child will go home from the hospital directly with the adoptive family, unless extenuating circumstances apply. Usually the extenuating circumstances are related to obtaining the birth father’s consent to the adoption. We’d be happy to discuss any concerns you may have about this.

Q. What Are the Different Types of Adoption?

A. Open Adoption is an adoption where names, addresses, and telephone numbers are exchanged between the adoptive family and the birth parents. An Open Adoption usually means that everyone communicates directly with one another and that there will be some form of future contact with each other. These contacts could be through telephone calls, email communication and/or visits.

Successful Open Adoption relationships are usually formed after a trustful and respectful relationship is developed between birth parent(s) and adoptive family. Usually the amount of openness is not “set in stone” and develops over time in a very natural manner that everyone agrees is appropriate for the child. It is important to note that Open Adoption is not legally upheld in most states. This is even more reason for there to be a high level of trust between birth parent and adoptive parent.

Open Adoption is not for everyone because there is a great amount of commitment involved from both parties to ensure the best interest of the child is met. This type of adoption does not occur very often (only approximately 5-10 percent of the time), but can be a very positive experience if everyone is on the same page.

Semi-Open Adoption is the most popular type of adoption chosen by birth parents and adoptive families alike. In Semi-Open Adoption, there usually is limited information exchanged between the adoptive family and the birth parents. Just as with Open Adoptions, Semi-Open Adoptions can evolve depending on comfort levels of both parties. In Semi-Open Adoptions birth parents usually participate in phone calls and/or e-mails with the adoptive parents during the pregnancy. They usually meet at the hospital at the time of birth and sometimes prior to birth as well. Pictures and letters are exchanged through the agency for up to 18 years as requested by you. Semi-Open adoption is the most common type of adoption occurring is approximately 85-90 percent of adoptions.

Closed Adoptions occur less than 5 percent of all adoptions. This does not necessarily mean that this is a bad option to choose; it just means that it is not as popular with most birth parents. Typically birth parents who select Closed Adoptions are not interested in meeting the adoptive family and may not want information about the child in the future. Little Flower Adoptions requires adoptive parents to send pictures and an update letter for you to be placed in the file yearly for the child’s first 5 years of life. If you decide you’d like that information about your child, all you have to do is call and request it!

Q. How will my child feel about me if I place them for adoption?

A. When your child has a childhood full of love and nurturance with parents who are ready and eager to parent, he or she will have wonderfully positive feelings about their birth parents. All adoptive parents that we work with must be educated and prepared to parent an adopted child and reinforce a healthy attitude about their birth parents and their adoption.

We encourage birth parents to provide pictures of themselves and letters to the adoptive parents for their child that explains who they are and why they chose adoption. This provides invaluable information directly from you to your child. We can assure you that this is cherished information for adopted children!

Q. Where are you located?

A. Little Flower Adoptions does adoptions all over the country. Our main office is in Texas, but we have affiliates (i.e., counselors, attorneys, etc.) that we work with in every state.

Q. What do I do to get started making an adoption plan?

Step 1 - Initial Contact

It is very important that you choose adoption professionals that make your interests their priority. Make sure that you get all of your questions answered and understand your state’s laws. Be informed of your legal rights and responsibilities in the adoption process because you do have them.

Step 2 - Information Packet

You will receive a packet with forms asking you for personal information about yourself. The information is related to background health and genetic information on yourself, prenatal care and the father of the child. It is important to provide contact information for the biological father so he can be accounted for. If the father is unknown, we will discuss this further with you. Each state has different laws about how to handle this situation. Your information will be kept confidential but is very important to the selection of adoptive parents.

Step 3 - Creating Your Adoption Plan

We’re not comfortable until you are which is why we make sure all of your needs are met. During your pregnancy, we will work with you to create your entire adoption plan. You have many options and decisions to make. Each adoption plan is unique and determined by you and the laws in your state. Here are some things that we will be working with you on:

*Necessary financial assistance (with medical care, housing, utilities, groceries, etc.)

*Selection of an adoptive family. We will be discussing with you what your preferences are, such as ethnicity, religion, and children in the family, etc.

*Decision regarding the level of contact you want with the adoptive parents before, during and after the birth of the baby (phone calls, visits, picture and letter updates).

*Arranging counseling, if you desire.

*Preparation for childbirth. If this is your first delivery, this can be just as scary as making an adoption plan. We will help get your ready for all the things no one tells you about delivering a baby.

*Preparing for the hospital experience. It is important to have a plan about what will happen when you go into the hospital to deliver the baby. Hospital staff needs to be prepared for the adoption plan too and we will take care of this for you. We will discuss all of the options and choices you will have when you have the baby.

Step 4 - Placement

Once the baby is born and you have had some time to recover, it is time to place the baby with the adoptive family. By now, you will have decided what type of contact you want to have with the family before, during and after the pregnancy. Most of the time, the baby can be placed directly with the adoptive parents from the hospital.

This can be the most emotional and difficult time of the process. The adoption is no longer a situation that you have been planning, but is now a very vivid and emotional reality. We work hard with you to get you as prepared as is possible for the very extreme emotions that many birth mothers feel. However, we recognize that every person is an individual with very individual feelings, thoughts and responses. We place a lot attention on getting you prepared for this part of the adoption process, as it is definitely the hardest part.

Shortly after the baby is born, you will sign the legal documents to place your baby up for adoption. Again, each state varies on the amount of time you must wait before you sign these very important documents. Typically, it is between 2-4 days after the birth of the baby. We will make sure that you understand your state’s laws in this regard.

Step 5 - Post-Adoption Services

Counseling services are always encouraged and can be easily be set up for you. It is very normal to continue to feel sadness when you return home from the hospital as well as for days or weeks to follow. You can expect a grieving process when you place your baby for adoption and experience feelings of intense sadness. Your Adoption Specialist will speak extensively with you about this during the adoption planning and help you prepare for it when it happens. However, this process is temporary and you will move through it and feel at peace with your decision.

If you have chosen to stay in contact, you can expect to receive pictures and update letters during this time.

Also during this time, it is important to focus on the reasons for making an adoption plan as well as the life you have chosen for your child. As you’ve gathered from reading this material, making an adoption plan will be difficult but rewarding. It is truly the most selfless act a person can make because it will definitely hurt your heart in the process. Each and every birth parent that we have worked with has demonstrated an amazing amount of courage and grace.

We look forward to building a relationship with you and would be honored to assist you with your adoption plan, if you so choose.

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